“I’m sorry” gifts are a bad idea.

5 reasons you shouldn’t buy a “Sorry” present.

We’ve all been on the giving or receiving end of a “Sorry” present before, right? Maybe flowers, chocolate, or if it was a really bad argument—jewelry? Whatever the case, and as much as I love gifts, “make-up” or “I’m sorry” presents or gifts might actually be a bad idea. Here are 5 reasons why.

1. Reminder: constant reminder of the fight

Whenever I wear something that my husband bought me, I’m reminded of him. And usually when someone asks about or compliments a gift my husband bought me I can say something like “My husband bought it for me for our anniversary”. But what about a “Sorry” bracelet? Sure, I could lie, but I’d constantly be reminded of our fight. I love looking at “just because” presents I have around the house and presents from special occasions, but depending on the severity of the argument, sometimes the reason behind a gift taints it no matter how awesome it might have been.

2. Distraction.

Kind of like make-up sex, a make-up gift can simply be a temporary distraction. Though it may feel great in the moment, once you snap out of it, you’re back at square one. Instead of working out the issue, someone gave in and bought a gift. And just because the gift giver decided to do something nice it doesn’t always mean they’re sorry. It could also be a “STFU” gift. Pretty soon, the little things turn into big things again.

3. Becomes expected.

Gift giving after an argument can become a cycle. And pretty soon, the gifts are expected to become more extravagant or over the top. The receiver may be disappointed or let down if the gifts stop or may be unsatisfied if they don’t increasingly get better. How lavish a gift may be used as a tool to measure how sorry they think you are or how much they’re valued and this shouldn’t be the case.

4. Band-aid.

Buying a gift is like putting a band-aid on a far more severe wound. Flowers don’t always heal a broken heart. Gifts don’t excuse someone’s behavior.

5. The receiver is expected to forgive.

The person that’s giving the gift obviously hopes that the gift will smooth things over. I don’t know about you, but receiving flowers after we’ve exchanged some words we probably shouldn’t have would make my blood boil. Because flowers or a damn car is not the price to pay for hurting someone. It’s a habit that can prevent or stop necessary communication. And if the gift giver goes out of their way to get a nice gift, they may feel that their apology should be surely accepted which can lead to another blow out.

Don’t get me wrong, I love gifts. I love receiving one but honestly I love giving them more. But I never have and never will give a gift to say I’m sorry. Being sorry means doing better not spending more money.

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