Just like any other holiday, Mother’s Day can be triggering for many. And it might not always be for obvious reasons. Mother’s Day can be hard for some. It’s important to consider that not every holiday is celebrated by everyone and most importantly not every holiday comes with welcomed memories or feels like an opportunity to celebrate. This list was created to open our eyes to some of the hardships people face surrounding Mother’s Day, to encourage sensitivity and understanding.
1. Lost a loved one.
This one might seem obvious to some, but grief and loss is different for everyone. While some people find Mother’s Day comforting even if their mother (or a motherly figure in their life) has passed away, others might find it difficult. And it doesn’t matter how recent or how long ago the loss occurred.
2. Complicated relationship with their mother.
Not everyone has warm and fuzzy feelings about their mother, for some it’s complicated. It can also be downright toxic. Whether someone still has contact with their mother or not, Mother’s Day can be triggering when there is pressure to celebrate someone you have a complicated relationship with.
3. Infertility or miscarriage.
Mother’s Day is centered around, well, mothers. This can be particularly difficult for those who are not quite sure where they fit. Like those that are struggling or trying to conceive or for those who have had miscarriages or those that have lost a child.
4. Unrealistic expectations.
Some of the stress surrounding Mother’s Day can come from unrealistic expectations. Social media has made it more and more acceptable to expect the day to be magical and carefree. Although it is a holiday for some, it doesn’t always turn out the way we hope it would.
5. Grand gestures miss the bigger picture.
A lot of mothers complain about Mother’s Day because grand gestures are triggering. Most mothers are overworked, stressed, tired, and feel unappreciated. It’s triggering to have one day when everyone offers to help and to celebrate you, yet 364 out of the year it’s almost impossible to get support.
7. Everyone asks. “when are you having a baby?”
For many people, Mother’s Day can be a difficult because the inquiries about when someone will get pregnant or why someone hasn’t had a baby yet start popping up. It can be triggering for those who are trying to conceive, have experienced a loss, and even for those who just don’t to have kids.
These are just some of the reasons why Mother’s Day can be triggering or hard for some people. Does that mean you have to dull your celebration if you look forward to Mother’s Day? Absolutely not. However, being kind and sympathetic during this time to things you might not have consider before should be the goal.