Having a baby changes a relationship. It’s tough. You may be so fucused on being the world’s greatest dad, you forget some of your duties as a husband. It’s understandable, taking care of a tiny human is time consuming and scary! But are you being a crappy husband? Here are some ways you may be a great dad but might also be a crappy husband.
1. You focus on the importance of breastfeeding but ignore the difficulties that come along with it.
We’ve all heard by now that “breast is best” and there’s no denying the benefits of breastmilk. It’s called “liquid gold” for a reason. But breastfeeding is far from easy. It’s a rollercoaster. It’s emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. It’s arguably one of the most difficult adjustments for a lot of mothers. Women need support, not judgement. If your wife is having difficulties, be understanding. If she needs to supplement or formula feed for her sanity, it’s understandable. I’m not saying you shouldn’t encourage your wife to continue during difficult times, but don’t express disappointment or treat her like a failure.
2. You remember and celebrate your baby’s milestones but can’t seem to remember your anniversary.
Dad’s are so much more invovled nowadays and they don’t want to miss a thing. It’s great. I’m sure like most of us, you remember their first words, where they took their first steps, or even the first time they smiled. From big and small milestones, they are memories you treasure. Yet, you forget your anniversary? There’s literally no excuse for this one. Everything seems to remind us of birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. It’s on your phone, your social media accounts, and perhaps your calendar. Do yourself a favor and set up reminders.3. You brag about your baby, but never your wife.
Let’s face it, whatever your baby does, it will be amazing in your eyes. You won’t be able to hold yourself back from bragging about all the new things they’re up to, but don’t forget about your wife. We wives get a bad rap. People call us the “old ball and chain” and so many other titles that have been accumulated throughout the years. Give the “old ball and chain” some well deserved props. We’re always bragging about you guys. And let’s face it, guys get praised just for changing a diaper. It’s always nice when your spouse says nice things about you.
4. You spoil your baby, but skip the romance in your relationship.
It doesn’t matter where you go, when you miss your baby, you’ll find something to buy them. I get it, I’ve been there. Even if your just at the gas station or the pharmacy, you try to find even the smallest thing to bring home. You used to do the same for your wife, why stop now?
5. You set up play dates, but don’t set aside time for date nights.
Even though we all know how important date nights are, or just spending quality time with your spouse in general, it can be really difficult to actually follow through. But, it’s very necessary. Get a babysitter, ask a family member, or find some way to step out together even if it’s just for an hour. If leaving your baby is not an option, order a date night subscription box, which will provide everything you’ll need for a date night at home. Whatever you do, put in the effort and make the time. Your baby needs play dates and so does your wife.
6. You are super affectionate with your baby, but forget to even kiss your wife goodbye.
I know, it can get crazy when you’re sleep deprived but don’t forget how much the little things matter. I can’t tell you how much it means to us when our husbands kiss, hug, or show any kind of affection. We need to be reassured that even though things may be hectic, we’re still in a good place with each other.
7. Having patience with your baby, but not your partner.
You have to have patience when your dealing with a baby. But sometimes we forget we need to have patience with each other too. We need time to adjust physically and emotionally after having a baby. We need support. We want nothing more than to return to some sort of normalcy, but it isn’t always that simple. My best advice? Never assume what we need, simply ask “how can I help?” or “what can I do to make this easier for you?” and then DO IT.
8. Attending to your baby’s needs but not your wife’s.
You make sure your baby is never in a soiled diaper and they have the best food, clothes, and toys. But what about your wife? A lot of moms forget to take care of themselves or they’re simply just too busy. Step in, and lend a hand. It’s overwhelming, and the baby is always a top priority and mom is sometimes forgotten.
9. You make sure to say “I love you” multiple times a day to your baby (awww) but you neglect to tell your wife.
10. When the baby is alseep, you’re usually on your phone.
It’s so important to disconnect. You probably talk about the baby all day already as it is, you don’t need yet another distraction. Having a baby takes over your life. Put your phone down and spend time together, hurry, before the baby wakes up!
Look, I know navigating being a new parent is tough! So, this list is partly a joke but there are serious points to be made. Don’t forget about your partner! The baby needs the both of you but you also need each other.