10 real marriage moments on “King of Queens”.

10 moments “King of Queens” got real about marriage. 

I love the show “King of Queens”. At first it was because of all of the references the show made to Queens, NY and then it was because it made me LMAO. But now that I’m married, the show has taken me by surprise on how spot on it is at times in its depiction of marriage. Even though it’s still hilarious, it’s so real sometimes. Here are my top ten ways “King of Queens” got real about marriage.

(All images courtesy of giphy.com)

1. It’s so difficult to find couples to double date with.

cheerful young couple resting in cafe at lakeside during romantic date on autumn day
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Carrie and Doug struggle to find couples to double date with on more occasions than I can mention. It’s hard to find a couple that you both enjoy being around that also have the same availability that you both do. You thought it was hard finding your soulmate? Apparently it’s just as hard to find another couple to hang out with. Doug and Carrie mostly double date with Deacon and Kelly but it’s not perfect. Deacon and Kelly have children and they don’t, and sometimes they had rifts in their friendships, especially when Deacon and Kelly go through their separation. 

2. Balancing friendships once you’re married.

friends having a party
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Finding friends can be tough like I mentioned but keeping them can be even harder once you’re married. In one of my favorite episodes titled “Female Problems” Doug feels sorry for Carrie when she’s home alone on another Friday night while he goes to hang out with the guys. He sets her up with a new neighbor and they quickly become friends. At first Doug is proud of himself but eventually Carrie becomes so involved with her new friend that she barely has time for Doug. She’s always available when her new friend is having issues or just needs to talk. When Doug comes home Carrie is on the phone consoling her new friend or out with her. Having friends can be really tough once you’re married especially single friends. This is probably one of the realist episodes, for me at least. For us women, we can’t be “part-time” friends. We have to be available more than guys are to each other. “Checking in” once in a while makes you seem like a sh*tty friend. It can be hard to find a balance or difficult to find friends that accept that sh*t changes once you’re married and have children. Sometimes having a girls night might be every few months or so rather than weekly and not everyone will be on board for such a drastic change. 

3. Dealing with crazy in-laws.

family taking a group photo
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Though Arthur is really over-the-top, he’s actually spot on for a lot of people who have to deal with their in-laws on an every day basis. There’s always that one in-law that’s constantly giving unsolicited advice, is kind of crazy, and requires a lot of “special attention”. If you have to say “they mean well” often when referring to something they have done, you have one in your family too. It’s even more real for those who have to care for an aging parent whose not that easy to care for. It’s never easy living with in-laws, my husband puts up with my dad. 

4. Comparing your relationship to other couples.

man and woman wearing brown leather jackets
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In an episode called “Do Rico” Carrie becomes obsessed with one of Doug’s co-worker’s, (Rico) accent. And Doug also becomes infatuated with Rico’s girlfriend. Carrie and Doug role play and do their accents while in bed. They imagine how “hot and steamy” Rico and his girlfriend’s love life must be. Turns out, it’s not great at all. It’s easy to get caught up on what we see on the outside or on social media. Couples look so happy and it’s understandable to compare your relationship to someone else’s. But just like on “King of Queens” the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. 

5. The stress of planning a wedding. 

close up of wedding rings on floor
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The episode “Dreading Vows” is a nightmare as Doug and Carrie try to plan a ceremony to renew their vows. They struggle with different ideas, costs, and the guest list. I think we all can relate to our parents or in-laws wanting to invite people we’ve never met like co-workers or old friends. The guest list becomes a constant debate. The cost of everything starts getting out of control and sometimes in planning, we loose sight of what a wedding is really supposed to be about. 

6. The pressure to be God Parents.

woman with brown baby carrier and little kid in white jacket
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In the episode “Parent Trapped” Deacon and Kelly ask Doug and Carrie to be Godparents to their two children. Doug is excited and Carrie is a little weary. Eventually they struggle with the pressure and responsibility associated with becoming Godparents. Uhh, sound familiar? Although it’s an amazing gesture when someone asks you to be their child’s Godparent, it can be overwhelming. Traditionally Godparents are supposed to step in and raise their godchild/children if something ever happened to their parents. Not to mention Godparents are expected to buy the best gifts ever and be there for all of the important moments. It’s not for everyone. And sometimes couples get asked so much, it’s like you broke the bank before you even have children of your own. I know couples that have multiple Godchildren and the lists keeps growing but they feel too guilty to turn someone down. 

7. When you find yourself in between another couples problems.

couple having a misunderstanding
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Doug and Carrie have found themselves in between Deacon and Kelly during their separation and between their neighbors Tim and Dorothy during their divorce. Sometimes they’ll ask you to choose sides or ask you to mediate. Carrie usually takes the woman’s side and Doug takes the man’s. It can be awkward and end terribly. Even more so when they make up and you’ve made your feelings known.

8. Questioning your marriage after a friend’s divorce.

anonymous ethnic couple sitting on sofa having marriage issues
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After Deacon and Kelly’s separation, Carrie begins to wonder about her own marriage. She and Doug agree to put their sex lives on hold because Carrie feels that they need to learn how to resolve arguments verbally instead of always turning to “make-up sex”. Eventually they discover that what works for their relationship is perfect. 

9. Miscarriage.

man and woman sitting at table
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Perhaps one of the most serious episodes is episode “Pregnant Pause: Part 2”. Carrie unexpectedly becomes pregnant. Eventually both Doug and Carrie come to terms with the fact that they will become parents and are happy about it. Doug takes a second job and Carrie starts shopping for the nursery. Doug comes home one night to find a distraught Carrie who informs him that she lost the baby. This episode goes through every emotion—that positive pregnancy test, the anxiety, the excitement, and ultimately the disappointment. So many couples go through this. 

10. Infertility.

pregnant woman wearing beige long sleeve shirt standing near brown tree at daytime
Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

In the finale season, Doug and Carrie decide that it’s now or never to try again for a baby. But getting pregnant is not easy. In earlier episodes it was revealed that Carrie only has one working ovary. During marriage counseling the two decide to adopt. Eventually (after nearly getting divorced) the two adopt a baby and also find out that Carrie is pregnant. Though many have complained about the ending, to see a couple struggle with the decision to have children or not and then ultimately struggle to conceive once they do decide to have children is refreshingly honest and a side that’s usually not shown. 

What moments would you add to the list? 

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